Tag Archives: connection

Visiting Three Past Chapters

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What is the value of looking back to, and even re-experiencing some aspects of the past? It is a question many of us wrestle with quite a bit. From Happy Days to The Wonder Years, That 70s Show and Stranger Things there is no shortage of nostalgia in our present day culture. Yet, there was a time in fairly recent history when nostalgia was actually looked upon as a mental disorder. We all want to understand who we are, but…

Is there a reason we want to “visit” the past?

Why do we want to reminisce about the way things were?

Is it a form of escapism or a form of connecting with something about ourselves and our history?

That is the question I ended up inadvertently answering this summer, when a series of trips ended up being back-to-back visits to different parts of my past.

First up was Valparaiso University, where I attended college.

This was by far the most lighthearted part. Much of it was about seeing the people I went to college with, looking at the dorm rooms I lived in, sharing stories about antics and experiences.

Valpariaso, Indiana was once a far sleepier town. Going back there almost felt like Marty McFly’s trip into 2015’s version of Hill Valley in Back to the Future. My vision of Valparaiso is the Valparaiso of many years ago. I was stunned to see a far more vibrant downtown, with more people out and about, more bars and restaurants, farmer’s markets and people out cruising around!

I then visited Chicago, a place I lived several years later, for my first job after attending graduate school.

Being the most recent chapter of my life, this was my least dramatic experience. It was nice to be back at Portillos.

Ride the train again and visit some of my friends. I even got a chance to live the kind of life I lived there going to Wrigley Field and spending an entire night out at the bars.

The most dramatic part of my trip, by far, was visiting the place where I grew up, New York.

I actually grew up on Long Island, in a town called Mineola.

To most, it is not a huge difference, but New York is the place where people make the distinction between being from Queens, Brooklyn and the Bronx and consider them completely different ways of life despite the short geographical distance.

I grew up eating the best pizza in the world.

Going to swim at Barr Beach (now North Hempstead Beach).

And riding the train, both the Long Island Railroad and the subway, to get places.

While there I felt like neither a resident nor a tourist.

It’s been a long time since I’ve lived in New York. I never lived there as an adult. Yet, New York is still in the way that I walk, the way that I talk and the way that I act. The only day people viewed me as a tourist was the day I wore this American flag shirt to the Statue of Liberty.

Every other day, it was business as usual.

Still, it felt really emotional to remember all the things I loved when I was a kid, but feel so far removed from it.

I thought of my family, my family’s origins from even before we came to New York. Why do I sometimes feel so disconnected from it? Is that a bad thing? I’ve changed so much since every one of these chapters of my life. In fact, I would hate to be judged based on who I was at any of those moments in time. But, something made me feel a strong desire to be better connected with this past, as if it would provide some kind of grounding.

When I returned to Colorado, I reflected on the trip, especially New York.

I realized that, well, in life we all move on. We progress through chapters, some pleasant, some less pleasant. Some that feel more authentic than others. Based on who I am now, even though I often long for the fast paced lifestyle New York provides and taking trains everywhere, Colorado is where I was meant to be. Maybe I just feel I was meant to visit New York more frequently than I do.

As far as why we reminisce, why we desire to re-experience the people, places and activities we once did, in my journey I found myself focused primarily on who I was in each chapter. What I did. How I did it. How it made me feel. In New York, it was who I was as aa child. How I interacted with teachers, other kids my age. The experiences that, although so long ago, washed out in my memory by more recent happening, made me who I am.

Maybe that is the underlying reason for nostalgia. We want to remember who we once were. After all, in our lives we make some changes on purpose, but some just happen. They may not have been something we specifically desired. Sometimes they are foisted on us. Sometimes we’re just trying to get through a situation, like a survival technique applied to the modern civilized world.

So, maybe the primary reason we watch old shows, listen to old songs and go to the places that remind us of some past chapter of our lives is to reconnect with a past version of ourselves. And, if we are mindful enough, we can think about some of the ways in which we’ve changed and ask ourselves…

Did I want that?

Is this something that is serving me well?

And, is there something about who I was then I should get back in touch with?

Ten Days Away From “Reality”

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It isn’t too hard to get disillusioned with the modern world. It can be lonely, impersonal, lack meaning, lack purpose. It often feels like people are either running around but never really getting anywhere or are sitting at home consuming unhealthy online content while wishing their lives would change. On a typical day, most people are not looking to chat, connect, find new experiences, try new things or explore new ideas. On a typical day, we all have the things we need to deal with: The work that needs to be done. The developments around us that are causing stress. And, often times other random requests that we rarely think about like the guy on the street asking for money, the unsolicited phone calls and all the junk we all have in our email inboxes.

One of the primary reasons anyone travels, or goes on vacation, is to experience something different than normal, day to day, life.

Even if someone enjoys their typical day to day life, it is common to crave something different. Variety is one of the six basic human needs. Vacations, events, holidays, festivals and other experiences of that sort transport us to a world that operates differently from the one we inhabit on a typical day. The “rules” are different. The “norms” are different. Often what we must do is different and so is what’s expected of us.

For a ten day period in mid to late September 2022 I found myself in a series of places vastly different from one another.

First, the AWAKE festival, an event described as a “weekend-long, wellness gathering to restore, rejuvenate and reconnect.” The event includes a lot of yoga, meditation, dancing and spiritual discussions.

Then, I attended Start Up Week, one of my favorite weeks in Denver. Start Up Week is a celebration of Denver’s entrepreneurial community, but also so much more! It’s about networking, sharing knowledge and spreading ideas.

The following weekend was a friend’s wedding, with all of the typical events associated with a wedding.

While completely different events, these events had a few things in common which made the experiences flow together into one seamless vacation from “reality.”

  1. Lacking negativity. At all of these events there was very little to no negativity. Some of our present day problems were addressed at Start Up Week, but only in the context of showcasing a solution and forging ahead into a better future world. There was no complaining. No divisiveness. Everything had a far more positive vibe.
  2. People wanted to connect. Normally people aren’t looking to connect with strangers they encounter. At all of these events, with a controlled group of people, nearly everyone was willing to connect.
  3. Far less tedious work. None of these events are about things like taking out the trash, cleaning the bathroom, or even performing routine tasks we do for our jobs. Even the job related sessions at Start Up Week were far more about how to run an effective organization than writing code.
  4. Far less screen time. We were living in the real world!

Experiencing three events over a ten day period that were distinct from what most people accept as reality in 2022 in a similar way causes one to look at this reality in a whole new light.

It’s the type of perspective that leads to a rabbit hole of questions, mostly starting with the word “why.” After four days in that rabbit hole, I realized that this is not what this rare confluence of experiences was meant to teach me. It is not about dissecting the problems of today’s world and taking the extremely cynical view of it all I started this post with.

It is about taking what I truly loved about my September, incorporating it into my typical day-to-day life as much as possible and sharing it with my community where I live. With rare exception, we can’t directly control what happens around us. Anyone with the power to tell people what to do will find that power to be fleeting (children grow up, people leave jobs, etc.). What we can control is what we chose to focus on. This is how we actually exert influence over what happens around us.

My “reality” is no longer the one described at the start of this post. Over the course of 2022, I have been reducing my consumption of online content, focusing more on what brings me joy or fulfills my purpose and finding ways to connect with people. Maybe if we all do the same our reality will start to reflect what we truly want. If we stop thinking about the institutions we abhor, maybe they will become less powerful. If we stop thinking about hate, maybe the hate will just fade away, lose significance. If we begin to view the person staring at their phone on the train or in a coffee shop as a person looking for connection, maybe they will be.

A Very Special Day for a Friend in Akron, Ohio

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What we seek out, what we invest in, and what we are willing to spend our time and money on has undergone an uneven and somewhat nebulous transformation thus far this century. Perhaps this is because I grew up in the suburbs, but at the turn of the century, life seemed to revolve around shopping malls and the pursuit of material possessions. Since then, my focus has undergone two major shifts, one at the start of the century and one quite recently.

I now have nearly a decade’s worth of entries in this blog, primarily about travel and experiences. The transition from focusing on the material to focusing on the experiences, society-wide, can be seen on Instagram. The Instagram era, and what many people see in their feeds, is the embodiment of people switching from seeking out bigger homes and more stuff to put into them to seeking out experiences in general, many of which have been shared on Instagram over the past decade.

As I pointed out in two earlier blogs [1][2], this year, after all that recently happened, I suddenly found myself most interested in connecting with people. There are a lot of people who have and/or continue to play an important role in my life. At this point in time, this feels like the most important use of my time and energy.

We’re also seeing this shift society-wide. More people are talking about the importance of connecting with locals and local culture while traveling. People are now sharing tips and even building apps to facilitate this pursuit.

To end the Summer of 2021, I went to Akron, Ohio.

To go to a Minor League Baseball Game.

Traveling 1300 miles (2100 km) to go to Minor League Baseball game is not something that is going to appear on anyone’s bucket list. As was the case with my earlier trips this summer, the purpose of this trip was connection.

That being said due to its location in the “rust belt”, Akron often gets a bad rap. However, there is more to the place than industrial decline. It’s probably not the most desirable place to live but it is certainly underrated.

It has a fairly lively downtown.

There are other interesting neighborhoods with some interesting places to go.

And, there a lot of outdoor places to explore.

The Summit Metro Parks are right next to the city.

In this park there a series of trails with dense deciduous forests and a little bit of terrain!

The Buckeye Trail runs right through the park.

There are also some other hidden gems.

This particular railroad crossing reminded me of another time and place where people would commonly run or dismount a horse and jump into the open car of a moving freight train.

The other gem close to Akron is Cuyahoga Valley National Park.

Hiking in Cuyahoga Valley National Park is fairly similar the Metro Parks hikes. There are the trees and rolling hills.

Cuyahoga Valley is one of the free National Parks. It also does not appear to be as crowded as some other National Parks can be.

Akron is also right in the middle of an 87 mile trail that connects it with Cleveland, as well as Canton and New Philadelphia. Following the Cuyahoga River, runners and cyclists encounter some scenic spots.

As society shifts it focus from the material to experiences and connection, as we shift our priorities, expectations, habits, and how we perceive work, value and power, our patterns of travel will shift. The conciseness on the post pandemic world where we use virtual meetings more, is that there will be less travel for work and more travel for pleasure. It also feels like more combination trips are in our future. This is because, it is possible to meet people and coordinate work virtually, without having to spend time, money and energy traveling. However, to CONNECT, whether it be with other people, with places, cultures or ourselves, will still require significant amounts of travel. What will likely shift is where we go, when we go there and how we get there.