Category Archives: psychology

Taking it to Another Level

I must be insane! The same thoughts have kept popping up into my head about my upcoming trip ever since I planned it roughly six weeks ago. I am so conflicted. On one hand, what I am doing is significantly outside the realm of what “normal people do”. On the other hand, compared to most long-distance cyclists, my plan is actually rather tame.

My upcoming trip involves cycling (or attempting to, we’ll see how it goes) 600 miles over the course of six days, starting at Niagara Falls, New York, and ending on the East Coast at Portland, Maine. I am actually joining my friend Clay for half of his 1250 mile journey, which he started in Chicago. So, while I am taking this cycling thing to a whole new level, I can’t help but think about the fact that there are plenty who do trips that are way more elaborate than mine.

This map represents an approximation of the route that I will be taking. There are a few things that are still up in the air, and we may improvise a bit. But we are certainly planning to head northeast through the Adirondack Mountains as opposed to taking the most direct route through Saratoga Springs. It will add a few miles to the trip, but we will get to see places like Old Forge, Saranac Lake, and Lake Placid.

Last year, I joined my friend for one of his journeys, but chose a much shorter segment, from Bozeman, MT to Jackson, WY. This 230 mile bike ride took me through Yellowstone and Grand Teton National Park, and at this point is still the longest and most exhausting bike ride I have ever done.

This year, I took on a much longer ride for reasons that are somewhat personal. I grew up on Long Island, just outside of New York City. However, I moved away when I was only eleven years old. Still, at face value, it always seems odd to people when they hear that I am from New York and have never been to Niagra Falls, as well as countless other places in the region. In fact, there are nine states I have never been to, and Vermont is one of them. In about a week’s time, my number of remaining states to visit will be down to eight!

I can’t fault myself for having not been to these places. After all, it takes many people until nearly the age of eleven to start developing an individual identity, and for many it takes even longer to develop an appreciation for travel to places of natural beauty. I remember taking the ferry from Orient Point on Long Island to New London, Connecticut several times as a child. While I remember the smell of the salt water, I do not remember appreciating the scenic coastal town in front of me.

After months of what still doesn’t feel like enough training, I am ready to take on the longest bike ride of my life, and see many of the places I “should have” seen as a “New Yorker”.

I feel anxious. Will I make it? Did I train enough? Will it rain? Will it get windy? Will some other hazard emerge? Or, will the lower elevation and relatively easier terrain (for the first half of the ride along the Erie Canal) make it feel easier than my normal cycling around Colorado’s Front Range?

Whenever I plan to do something major like this, there is also always this tug of war that goes on inside my head. Maybe this is normal. I don’t know. On the surface, I understand what it means to go outside of one’s comfort zone, and do something unique. There is a greater risk and a greater reward than sticking to activities that are easy and familiar.

Sometimes, particularly when doing something major, a part of me gets this nagging feeling of guilt inside my head, like I am skipping out on some kind of responsibility. It’s strange, and I don’t know why it occurs. In a way, it bums me out that this feeling occurs at all. I know that life was meant to be lived, and the world was meant to be explored. Yet, in the back of my mind this feeling just occurs, making me feel like I should be doing something boring, like work, or house cleaning.

I wonder if others get that feeling too. I wonder if we’ve been conditioned in some way to feel guilty about taking extended periods of time to do something for ourselves. I’m glad I’ve learned to work through this feeling, preventing it from costing me countless opportunities over the years. Still it would be nice to silence it altogether.

Sometimes we need to push ourselves, or be pushed, to truly figure out who we are. Perhaps this requires the right level of insanity. Last weekend, I attended two weddings, one in Breckenridge, CO, and one in Chicago, IL. They were on back-to-back days. This is, in some ways insane. Yet, I did not do anything out of control, that could land me in jail or on a hospital bed. Perhaps I have already found this proper level of insane!

Ideas I Am Not Giving Up On

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Ideas are powerful! They can outlive the people, and even the places and things originally associated with them. Rome was all but destroyed in the 4th, 5th, and 6th centuries. The people that created Rome, and the representative republic which governed Rome for the first five centuries were long gone. Yet, these ideas made a resurgence in the 18th Century, when the founders of a new country called the United States of America created a representative republic in a new land far away. The writings of ancient Roman authors, from those that formed the Republic after overthrowing a King of their own, to those that later tried to defend the Republican form of government from power hungry politicians, are said to have provided inspiration for the country’s founders.

For all intensive purposes, Rome was a place that no longer existed. Yet, ideas that originated from this place had found their way to a land that Romans had no idea even existed, at a time over two thousand years later! Over the next Century, these ideas would proliferate, inspiring additional revolutions all over the world, and even counter-revolutions. Roughly a century later, that idea would actually find its way back to the very place it originated, when Rome, now part of a nation called Italy, would adapt a roughly similar form of Government.

It is for this reason people are often more threatened by ideas than they are by specific people. Today, when those of us look at someone like Osama Bin Laden, or any specific leader of ISIS, what we are looking at, and what we are threatened by goes way beyond a specific individual. Even Bin Laden, long the subject of ire for many, needed the aid or cooperation of many other individuals to successfully carry out the attacks he carried out. Simply put, for many of us in the United States, he became the face of an idea, and one that we largely found repulsive.

We all have ideas. Even those of us that do not consider ourselves creative, or inventive people, have ideas. It doesn’t have to be world changing like the invention of the computer. Maybe it is something as simple as the idea that it would be nice to have a train line or an additional road built to alleviate traffic. Or maybe it is the idea that animals should not be mistreated by their owners. Either way, as long as one understands the idea, why they feel the way they do about it, and has enthusiasm for it, the idea is worth pursuing and standing up for.

I have a ton of ideas, and many do relate to how I feel the world should work. Lately I have been hearing all the time that some people see the world as it, while others see the world as it could be. I would consider myself firmly in the later group. I commonly see some aspects of our society, and how it works, and think to myself (and sometimes say it to people around me) “we can do better”. After discussion, I will often hear from others what has come to be my least favorite sentence of all time: “It is what it is”. This is because, in many cases, I really see no reason it has to be that way. Some people see this as the mark of someone who refuses to mature beyond a state of artificially prolonged adolescence. However, I see it as refusing to give up on me, and what makes me unique.

I see an entire generation of people pursuing college education, and, more and more, post-graduate degrees, in interesting intellectually stimulating subjects just to join the workforce and be asked to perform menial, repetitive job duties and have their ideas rejected due to their low standing on the corporate totem poll. We can do better to nurture and develop these promising young minds.

I see people not being true to themselves, in their actions, their behaviors, and attitudes. We encourage one another to conform, to act like everyone else, and to live life according to a script written by and for a culture that no longer exists because many fear change and the potential loss of status associated with it. But each person’s individual and unique way of doing things is part of what makes this world an interesting place. We can be better about encouraging people to be true to themselves, and not being threatened by their unique way of life.

I see countless missed opportunities in the lives of countless people based on adherence to rigid rules and policies that do not make sense. This is where fear takes it’s greatest toll on society. Many take comfort in rules and structure. However, why should someone who has completed their work, and has no other obligations (meetings and such) be sitting in their cubicle at 2:30 on a warm, sunny afternoon? And, why should one person making a mistake with something lead to a law or ordinance preventing everyone from taking part in this activity? We can stop taking comfort in rules, and start taking advantage of all the beautiful opportunities this world provides us.

And, I see people who have failed to make deep and meaningful connections with other human beings. Many go through their lives feeling like they do not have the support system needed to get through the rough patches of their lives. This is because we live in a society that does not place a high value on building social capital. Many of us spend our days in work and social settings where we do not feel comfortable expressing our emotions and showing one another who we really are. You cannot develop a meaningful friendship with someone that does not even know who you really are. As is the case with the other ideas listed, we can do better on this one as well.

Periodically, I am pressured to give up on these ideas. I admit nobody has ever specifically told me something like “don’t be who you are”. But, I definitely feel it. “You need to act more professionally”. “Fireball: What are you? Still 22.” “Grow up, be a man.” “You can’t just….” These types of statements, and many more, come based on the idea that there are certain expectations of me that I do not believe need to exist.

There are even some that have given me sincere advice that I need to stop worrying about these overly philosophical issues. After all, there are actual reasons for all of the things that frustrate me, and those that defend the current way we do things in this world probably have some valid points. But, while sometimes I do experience frustration and rejection by acting the way I do, the alternative sounds way more depressing to me in the long run. The alternative, to me, is giving up on who I am.

I would rather encourage people to pursue their intellectual ideas, even if occasionally their bosses come down on me.

I would rather continue to show people who I really am, and continue to enjoy the activities that bring me happiness, even if I am periodically given negative feedback by judgmental people.

I would rather take advantage of all of the great things this world has to offer, all of the wonderful places to visit, interesting ideas to pursue, and experiences to enjoy, even if that periodically earns me “reprimand”.

And, I would rather occasionally get burned by someone who uses information about me for their own selfish ambitions than cease showing people who I truly am.

Essentially, I would rather get rejected as myself than be accepted by pretending to be somebody else.

We are all people of value, in our own unique way. And, for any one of us, if we go out there in this world, and find a way to be the best version of ourselves, but still ourselves, we will naturally find people who like it, and people who see us as valuable individuals. We all long for acceptance, but in order to be accepted in a true meaningful way, we need to overcome the fear of rejection, and stand up for our ideas.

Disconnect and Reconnect

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2015 is quite a strange time. I wholeheartedly believe that one day we will look back upon this particular era of human history as one of major transition; for better or for worse. It was around twenty years ago that households across America were suddenly all gaining access to the internet. It was around ten years ago that social media started ramping up the roles it played in each of our lives, and a few years later, many people across the country started getting “smart phones” with data plans that provide us with nearly constant access to the internet. Living in Colorado, it is easy for me to travel to places without an internet connection (although I am sure there are people working on that right now). However, I imagine that many people in large metro areas, particularly on the East Coast, may go years without traveling to a place that is truly “disconnected”.

It takes a while for society to really process changes as major as this one. For the first few years, following the proliferation of social media and smart phones across the country, it genuinely felt as if I was the only person who was concerned about the potential downsides of this sudden cultural transformation. It wasn’t until a few years later that people started sounding the alarm about topics such as cyberbullying, echo chambers, loss of depth in our conversations, the impact it could have on our friendships, phoniness, and the constant exposure to new information leading to a culture of constant distraction. Having moved from Chicago to Colorado in 2012, I cannot pinpoint the exact time when we as a society actually started addressing this issue. I recognize that I moved from a major city to a place that naturally attracts people that would share my views on this subject.

I am a firm believer is a concept known as “Natural Law“. This philosophy states that there are certain universal truths that apply regardless of setting. By contrast, Moral Relativists believe that what is right and wrong in always relative to the time, place, and circumstance. Over the past couple of years, much has been written, in books, on the internet, about the importance of taking time to “disconnect”. Most of these article remind us of the need to, from time to time, turn off our televisions, computers, smart phones, etc. and spend some time with ourselves. But, this was true even before we had smart phones and social media. Long before social media, Bill Gates would periodically go into complete seclusion for a week at a time. He would refer to these excursions as “think week”s, and use them to develop key ideas.

When I arrived at Turquoise Lake, a mere five miles outside of Leadville, Colorado, what I saw was a perfect place to put this advice into practice. Simply put, it is quiet, but also very scenic. I came to the lake not knowing what to expect. I knew it was a Tuesday, and in the middle of October, and therefore would not likely be crowded. But, with the exception of a storm headed into the area by later in the afternoon, the place was quite tranquil. It is the kind of place people envision when they think about a quiet country mountain getaway.

I decided I would take five minutes, and force myself to do nothing- absolutely nothing! I would not pick up a rock and start throwing it. I would not walk down to the lake. And I certainly would not even touch my iPhone, which was in my pocket at the time. For five whole minutes, all I did was stare at the Lake, the trees, and the mountains in the backdrop.

At the end of these five minutes, I picked up a rock, and wrote the following message. Along with this overarching theme, a series of other ideas flew into my head. For, in life, we all do things that makes us feel alive. Unfortunately, we also have times in our lives when we simply don’t feel alive. Choosing to live means something different for every person. We all have our own individual passions and priorities. But, one thing we all must do, in order to be true to ourselves, is overcome the fear of leaving our comfort zones.

As I watched the storm roll in, I realized that, for many, the first step towards overcoming this fear, and expanding our comfort zones, is exactly what I just did. In our current culture, with TVs in every house, iPhones with music and games, and distractions everywhere, being completely still, completely silent, and without some external stimulation to occupy our minds is well outside the comfort zone for most people.

I have a friend from High School who has A.D.D. And, I do not mean it in that manner in which we over-diagnose A.D.D. in our modern society. He was diagnosed long before they started diagnosing everyone, and seriously has nearly no attention span without medication. One day, we thought it would be interesting to see how long he could do nothing for- absolutely nothing. We all just sat in chairs doing nothing. After a minute or so, we could obviously tell that this was a painful experience for him.

However, for those of us without this issue, when was the last time we actually did spend a whole minute (or five) doing absolutely nothing? How often do we, while waiting in line, or waiting for a train, or waiting for our friend to show up at a bar, instinctively take out our smart phones, and distract ourselves with a game, an unnecessary email check, or social media? Have we all gotten to the point where we cannot spend a minute inside our own brains?

For what I realized is that when we “disconnect”, we are not just disconnecting from the internet, and other distractions. We are actually reconnecting- reconnecting with ourselves. For most of our days, in 2015, for better or worse, we are fixated on an external stimulant. Our minds dwell upon something someone else has chosen for us to think about. It is only when we shut those outside distractions out that our minds are free to wander. It is then that we form our own thoughts, on our own terms. This is something I fear we may have lost in our modern culture. At Turquoise Lake, I found it.

Visiting the Past and the Future- Part 2

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I came back to the Chicago area for a number of reasons. In fact, I had so many reasons to be here, it would have been hard to justify not being here. Simply put, it was where I needed to be at this particular time, despite the fact that I now live elsewhere.

The primary reason for my visit was to meet my family’s newest member; my nephew, who was born only a week before I arrived back in Chicago’s Northwest suburbs, where both my parents, and my sister/ brother-in-law live. At the age of 8 days, I got to meet him, and was able to subsequently spend some time with him over the course of the following week. However, as I sit back at my home in Denver, I cannot help but think of what I am missing out on being 1000 miles away from “home”. Specifically, I am thinking of this newborn baby, who will go through different phases of development, possibly on a daily to weekly basis for some time to come, as life changes at a faster pace for children than it does for adults. Even if I come back twice a year, there are phases in his development I am destined to miss. That is just the way it is.

However, my mind also drifts to all the rest of my family members, as well as my friends, back here in Chicago (as well as the surrounding area). While adults have lives that do not go through changes in as rapid of succession as children, and it is easier to “catch up”, we still do have experiences on a daily basis. And, as much as some people post much of their daily lives on social media, or do a decent job of keeping in touch, I do wonder what I am missing. I dwell on the fun daily events, strange occurrences and “inside jokes” that made all of the people around me so much fun to be around. But, I also dwell on the ups and downs, and the times when someone important to you just simply needs some encouragement, or, conversely, some advice.

I was wearing a suit the day I met my nephew, as I was on my way to the first of a number of events I would also attend over the course of the week. This one, a wedding for one of my good friends from college, in Northwest Indiana.

Here, not only did I get to witness the big day for the bride and groom, but as is common with events like this, I got the chance to hang out with several other friends from college. In a way it was just like it was back in the day. There are some people in all of our lives who we can not see for weeks, months, years, and still just pick right back up where we left off as if we had just seen each other the previous day. I am blessed to have a good number of people like this in my life.

However, there was an obvious difference between now and then, and that is children. Some of my friends also traveled a significant distance to be at this wedding, and they did so with children. It is actually pretty inspiring to me, as they had decided somewhat spontaneously to travel to Indiana for this wedding, and were still able to do so despite having a 5 year old and a (not quite) 5 month old respectively. And, they stayed at the wedding longer than many other people. It makes me think of a future chapter of life, that my involve children of my own, with a lot more hope, that maybe the “your life is over” camp are significantly exaggerating when they describe the impact starting a family has on one’s life. So, as was the case with so much of my trip, I was simultaneously living out a past “chapter” of my life, while also getting glimpses of a future “chapter”.

In fact, the rest of my week was also partially a baby/child meeting tour. I wanted to try to see as many people, and take part in as many events with my friends, as possible, while still spending a significant amount of time with my family and my new nephew. Luckily, many of my friends were able to work with me schedule-wise to create a successful trip! And, I got to take part in all kinds of activities ranging from simple lunches to crazy nights out in large groups. Over the course of the week, I was living the life I had lived as a child, as a young adult, and as I will live it in the future. In a way, I spent the week in one place, but in another way, I was in too many different places to count.

The Chicago metropolitan area is centered around downtown, where trains from all directions converge, as do countless people every day. It also includes countless suburbs, and even Northwest Indiana. It is a place where, much like my experiences over the course of the past week, people are doing everything from working hard and playing hard, to relaxing, to trying to do the best the can to raise a family.

And, when I see my newborn nephew, or any newborn child, I see the great equalizer.

Every single person, from the most successful to the biggest failures, from Bill Gates to habitual criminal, from the most personable to the biggest asshole, began as a vulnerable newborn infant, just like this. No matter who someone is, they started out in this position, as a baby, completely dependent on someone else to survive and reach adulthood. And, in the pool of newborn babies at the hospital at any given time, are people that will one day go on to become influential individuals both good and bad, people that will make their families proud, but also people who will one day disappoint, and people who will be nothing but kind and generous to their fellow human beings, but also people who will treat others with contempt and recklessness. But, for now, each child I met over the course of this week is just a child, a person trying to figure out the world around them in various stages. All we can do for them is give a good example. Over the course of the week, I found myself repeating one phrase to the children I had encountered; “A positive attitude is contagious”. When I smiled at a child, they would often smile back. It is basic human nature, and one of the most powerful tools we can take into our day-to-day lives to produce the best possible outcomes.

A Weekend to Recharge

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It’s a day we all experience at some point in the winter season- some of us more than others. A thick layer of low clouds blanket the sky in a manner that states in no uncertain terms that you will not be experiencing a single ray of sunshine for the entire day. Temperatures hover somewhere in the 30s. There is a cold, damp feeling to everything that makes anyone outside feel as if some kind of very light precipitation is falling. But, nobody can really tell. In fact, not only are we unsure whether precipitation is actually falling, we are not even sure what type of precipitation (rain, snow, other) we believe might be falling. And, to be honest, it really doesn’t matter. Because, the mood is already set, and that is one of a persistent cold, damp, and raw. It is as if the world around you is telling you that you that today is going to be more subdued than most. That today will not be the day you go on some kind of life changing adventure, achieve something major, or even make significant progress towards something.

There is a half a century old folk song whose lyrics go something like “a time for war, a time for peace, a time to laugh, a time to cry”. I am not really 100% certain what they actually say in the song, but I know the entire song kind of discusses the cycles and sub-cycles of life in that sort of manner. And, it advocates the recognition that certain actions, activities, emotions, etc. have their time and place, regardless of which ones we prefer, which ones we enjoy, or which ones we feel are more beneficial.

I have always been one to periodically look for ways to get the maximum utility out of one of the most precious resources we all have- time. Implied in many initiatives we take to better our lives, including the goals I made for 2015 at the start of the month, is a better use of our time, commonly in the form of trying to select in favor of behaviors we consider a good use of our time and against behaviors that we consider a poor use of our time. However, one thing I often fail to consider is that not every minute of every day can be spent doing something that we feel is significant. Just as the cycles of life often take us to the next exciting adventures in our lives, the cycles of life will also tell us when it is time to slow down and recharge our batteries. And, although I consider myself to be in the top quartile for energy levels in my age group, even those of us with high energy levels can run into times when it is depleted. A time to rage, a time to mellow.

Sometimes it is hard for an energetic person to realize that the time to “mellow” has come. For energetic people, this portion of the cycle of life can be frustrating, and, during down-times, I often find myself restlessly looking at bike routes and new travel destinations to consider in the near future. However, this particular weekend, the time had come in no uncertain terms. And, the weather, so raw, cold, and lifeless, only reinforces this fact. It amplifies the mood.

Emotion and anxiety is a much more significant energy drain than many people realize. In fact, I have found that at times emotions and anxiety can drain energy far more efficiently than strenuous physical and/or mental work. There are plenty of times I remember bicycling 50+ miles, staying out partying well past midnight, or working hard to meet some kind of deadline, and still having an energy level the next day fairly close to normal. However, I do recall several recent scenarios where drama, uncertainty, or allowing that part of your brain that worries about all things that can go wrong to stress me out about something have made me quite sleepy.

Along with the dull weather pattern, multiple emotional events over the past few weeks contributed to my need to take a weekend to recharge. One of the hardest things to do is to say goodbye to a boss that you actually enjoy working for. Two weeks ago, I found out that my supervisor, the man who hired me, has believed in me every step of the way, and genuinely respects me and my ideas, is departing. This is hard to find in the workplace.

Work is not typically the most exciting thing people do in their lives. There is a reason that movies rarely show a person manipulating data in a spreadsheet. And, there is a reason I write a travel blog and not a work blog. I’ve even seen some people that achieve the dream job they had set out to do from a young age, and still get burned out on it. But, with good people around you and a good environment, the time that we spend at work can periodically be enjoyable and fulfilling, which is the most we can really ask for.

This weekend, I am not just anxious about the uncertainty that comes with any change, but I am genuinely sad to see the man go. And, while it is tough for an adventure-seeking extrovert like me to swallow a weekend of resting, and focusing on other areas of my life, there is a time for my focuses to remain within a 5 mile radius of home, and that time is now. I am certain that 2015 will produce some amazing adventures, some of which I already have planned and look forward to. But for now, all I can do is appreciate the opportunities I have received and do my best to make sure I continue advancing my career forwards without giving up on the most precious resource I have- who I am.

Saint John; Virgin Islands

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Saint John Island is one of the most remote places within the United States. A part of the United States Virgin Islands territory, it’s year-round population is a meager 4200 people. It can only be accessed via ferry or boat. For mainlanders, Saint John can be accessed by a 20 minute ferry ride, after a half hour cab ride from the airport on nearby Saint Thomas. The flying time to Saint Thomas is listed as roughly three hours from the nearest major airport in the mainland; Miami, Florida. Therefore, the minimum travel time for any mainlander is four hours. For most, the journey is much longer.

I spent my time on Saint John primarily in two places; Cruz Bay, which is the main population center on the island, and Caneel Bay, a resort about ten minutes farther up the coast of the island.

Cruz Bay is where the ferry from Saint Thomas first arrives. It is the first place any visitor to this island sees. It is Saint John’s front door, it’s first impression. And it doesn’t disappoint. The ocean here is as stunning and picturesque as anywhere I could possibly imagine. In fact, even at some of the best kept lakes in the United States, I have never seen water this magically blue.

Upon arrival to Cruz Bay on the ferry, one immediately sees a plethora of tourist accommodations. To the left is the Virgin Islands National Park Visitor Center. In front are the beaches, boats and restaurants.

A tourist that walks up the road straight in front of them (road names are not obvious here) will encounter a road lined with bars and restaurants that obviously cater to those not from the Islands. Walking along this street in the evening, rather than traditional Caribbean music, one will hear the likes of Jimmy Buffet, modern American pop, and a surprising amount of Country-Western music. And, a vast majority of the proprietors and patrons of any of these restaurants are obviously tourists or those who moved here from the mainland to work tourism related jobs.

Most of the residents of this island are black (or Afro-Caribbean). Although this did not really surprise me, I still wonder how this came to be, as I had never really been taught about the history of the Caribbean Islands beyond the arrival of Christopher Columbus in 1492 and the subsequent voyages to the “New World” that the news of this voyage inspired.

However, when I look around me, and take a couple of trips to less touristy parts of the Island, where one can see a better representation of how those native to Saint John live, I can’t help but have the present rather than the past on my mind.

How do the lives of those that live here year round differ from our own?

How do they feel about being a part of the United States? And, more specifically, how do they feel about their status as a U.S. territory (and not a state)? We commonly hear about issues regarding Puerto Rico’s similar status, and the razor thin margin between those who support and those who oppose statehood. But, we never really hear much about the U.S. Virgin Islands’ status and how it impacts the people here.

Most importantly, how do they feel about us, and our presence here? Do they debate the economic impact of tourism vs. the cultural disruption that it causes? Do they ponder the fact that within the mainland part of the U.S., we have places like Catalina, Key West and South Padre, places where many of us could theoretically get a similar experience without invading their island?

Ultimately, are they fighting for their identities, their culture, or are they enjoying the economic benefit of our presence, as well as their association with the United States of America? When we think of the Caribbean, we often think of pop icons, including Bob Marley, but also more recent pop icons from the region, such as Daddy Yankee and Sean Kingston. The music produced by these artists take us to the pristine tropical oceans of the Caribbean, if nowhere else but in our minds.

However, it is these pop icons that appear to represent the dichotomy of the possible responses that seem plausible given the current situation of those that live in the U.S. Virgin Islands. Marley, from his lyrics, considered himself part of a struggle for the culture and identity of himself and his people. But modern pop stars like Kingston appear to be simply enjoying the economic benefit of their stardom, much of which comes from the U.S. and the western world that Marley rallies against.

Although there is a lot more to any one person’s life that what we witness through the media, Kingston and Co. do appear to be thoroughly enjoying their lives.

After multiple nights of partying, I lay exhausted on Scott Beach, the finest beach on Caneel Bay resort. I watch the boaters and snorkelers go by. Some even tell me that it was here, in the clear waters of the Caribbean, that they had one of the best snorkeling experiences of their lives. They did so by being willing to visit a place a little bit out of the way, a place where the people, the culture, and the way of life are different than their own.

That is when it occurred to me that the world is full of people who are different from me. The world is full of people who look different, act different, have different customs, beliefs, values, and different ways of understanding the world. We can either learn to live with different types of people, and try to relate to them as best as we can, or we can accept the limitations that go along with confining ourselves to people with sufficient similarities to ourselves.

In practice, we all implore somewhat of a combination of the two strategies; accepting some differences but trying to stay away from others. However, there are some that believe that in an increasingly connected world, the future belongs to those that can bridge the gap between different cultures. I am not sure if I inherently believe that the ability to bridge cultural gaps is a prerequisite for success in the 21st Century, as many people have built fortunes designing products that largely cater to one segment of society. However, when I watch people enjoy Saint John Island, and watch videos by Kingston and other similar artists, I see firsthand the benefits of being able to relate to those with different backgrounds and ways than my own.

Saying Goodbye to a Travel Partner

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This week, it is with great sadness that I say goodbye to a travel partner that has been with me for over a decade; my 1997 Chevrolet Malibu. After showing signs of weakness for several years, it’s performance just recently started declining rapidly, to the point where it can no longer be driven with any degree of confidence. At its age, it would be quite difficult to justify spending any more money on repairs. After holding on to this vehicle, potentially longer than I should have, it is finally time to say goodbye, and time to move on.

To some people, a car is just a car. It is just simply a tool for one to get from place to place, just like any of the other pieces of machinery they own. Obviously, those that lease new cars every three years do not get attached to their vehicles, preferring to always have the latest in technology. And, there is no clear reason to have any kind of emotional attachment to a mechanical object with no thoughts or emotions of its own.

However, as someone who loves to travel (and is addicted to being in motion), I cannot help but be extremely sad to know that I have taken my last drive inside this vehicle. The feeling of being inside this car, and being behind the wheel is one that I had become so accustomed to, it almost felt like second nature. For some time, it felt like a place I really belonged, and there was definitely a year or two in there when I felt more at home inside this car than the places where I actually lived.

When I purchased this vehicle, I was still in college, and longing for the independence associated with having a car of my own that I can drive at will, at any time I wish, and to any place I wish. Like any guy that has not turned 21 yet (and even many who have), I thought that having my own car would make me more interesting, more popular, and more desirable. I had somehow thought that having my own car would help fill one of the missing pieces of my life.

The year before I bought my own car, I had been using many different cars to get places. Some belonged to family members, some belonged to friends at college. But, all were different. None were mine. I did not really become particularly accustomed to the specific dimensions, specific quirks, and optimal use of any of those vehicles. That, of course, changed when I bought my first car. It was my first major purchase as a young adult. For the first time in my life, I could call something major my own!

In a way, the story of my first car is the story of my own coming of age. However, coming of age also means a fairly rapid rate of change and significant turmoil. Most young adults experience a significant amount of turmoil in their lives as they go through college, start their careers, try to establish themselves as adults, and determine kind of person they were destined to be.

My vehicle saw me through the transition to graduate school, several career related disappointments (or setbacks), numerous relationship related fumbles, lots of really crazy travel, lots of adventures, and even some lewd behaviors I am not proud of. It was also the setting of some of the more significant discussions I had with trusted friends, in which we would attempt to navigate some of the situations that puzzle young adults, and ponder our futures as they were unfolding in front of us.

Traveling not only provides adventures, stories, places to be, things to do, and ways in which to see the people I care about, and take part in activities I love, but it also provides an outlet. Often when I feel frustrated, disappointed, or short-changed by life, I just need to go somewhere, get a change of scenery, and get a fresh perspective. I did a significant amount of traveling well before I decided to start writing this blog, and took some major road trips. In a way, I did exactly as the commercials at the time told me, I saw the U.S.A. in my Chevrolet.

I knew this day would eventually come. In fact, it came significantly later than I had expected. Over the years, I became increasingly interested in bicycling, and subsequently moved to the City of Chicago, where significantly less miles are driven in day-to-day life. So, despite my car being 17 years old, it reached 150,000 miles only a few months ago (now at 151K).

Still, as I struggled to get this car started for it’s last spin, I felt a sadness that was tough to explain. I’d look at the car, and think of all of these memories, all that I had done, all that I had gone through, and how my years of coming of age shaped me into who I am, for better or for worse.

Life should never stop being an adventure. I shared many of my adventures in the Midwest with my Mailbu. There was no better car for all of those nights cruising on Dundee Road, those days passing people on the right on the Chicago Skyway, racing down I-65, or looking for tornadoes in Iowa. Now that I live in Colorado, I am having completely different kinds of adventures. And, although I am sad to have lost a travel partner that suited me well for a long time, I have been provided with an opportunity to find a new travel partner that is quite suited for the adventures I am destined to have in this part of the world.

This morning I purchased a brand new Mazda CX-5, which may just be my travel partner for the next decade to come (or more). With high clearance and all wheel drive, it is well suited for the State of Colorado. With a little more pep to the engine than many of the other vehicles in it’s class, it also suits who I am.

Maybe these vehicles are just simply vehicles, inanimate objects built by humans. Or maybe I had a loyal travel companion that selflessly determined that it had become time to step aside for another- one that suits where I now am a bit better.

Places of Questionable Significance

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In 1983, an incredibly drunk Ozzy Osborne made the mistake of deciding to relieve himself on the Alamo, a building of historical significance. He was arrested (Isn’t public urination usually just a ticket?), and scorned by many, primarily due to the fact that the Alamo is an important symbol of pride amongst Texans. However, to Ozzy, a British rock star, the building probably did not mean too terribly much. While a sober Ozzy (if that existed in 1983) would probably have realized the building is significant due to the presence of tourists, he probably would not have felt the same affinity or pride when standing in front of the Alamo.

With the exception of a few wide eyed hippies that believe that every place is significant, and a few hard core cynics, that fail to see the significance in any place (or anything), the significance of most places is dependent on the person and the culture. There is no better of an example of a place like this than Four Corners, U.S.A.

Four Corners is unique due to the fact that it is the only place in the United States where four states all border one another. If one wanted to stand in five different states at one time, it would not be possible. If one wanted to stand in four different states at once, there is only one place where it can be done; Four Corners Monument.

The primary reason people visit this particular monument is to take silly pictures like this one. Assuming the location of the four-state border is correctly marked (some question that is in the right place), in this picture I am in four states at once.

However, in the absence of state borders, this particular spot would really actually be quite insignificant. There is no natural demarcation point, or significant change in scenery. Even on the Colorado side, the wide open landscape, periodic mesas, and sagebrush screams Arizona much more than Colorado. This Arizona-like feel persists for over thirty miles into Colorado until the San Juan Mountains start to show up on the horizon somewhere east of Cortez.

The significance of this place is further muddled by the fact that this point is not the border of four different jurisdictions. The monument is actually on an Indian Reservation. Thus, you do not even get the standard differences in policies and sales tax that usually accompany state borders. An equal number of souvenir stands exists on all four sides of the monument. I am not sure whether or not marijuana is legal on this particular reservation, but the policy is the same on all sides. I did not observe all of the pot heads clustered in the Colorado quadrant of this monument.

In the absence of state borders (and people obsessed with exact points of latitude and longitude), the most significant site in this region is a rock formation a dozen or so miles away called Shiprock, which has cultural and religious significance to the Navajo people who have inhabited the region since well before the Spanish arrived.

From a completely neutral standpoint, the rock formation definitely seems to stand out way more than any other feature in the area, which is mainly small mesas and creeks. But that does not mean the wide open space where the monument should lack significance to all people.

For most likely a variety of neurological, sociological, and historical reasons, Western Culture associates wide open spaces like this one with freedom. It’s the wild. It’s the untamed. It’s the place where you can yell as loud as you want, shoot any kind of weapon you want, and start a fight without anyone to break it up. There is nobody to tell you where you can (and can’t) hike, climb, tie a rope to an arch or mesa to swing from it, or even try to catapult small rodents. It’s the last refuge of people seeking to escape every single one of society’s restrictions and limitations.

But the one set of regulations that one can really never escape is the ones that exist only inside their own heads. I often refer to these as the “invisible chain”. And by this, I am referring to all of the anxiety, fear, and self-consciousness that often stop us from doing what we feel we should be doing. It stops us from telling people what we really think. It stops us from talking to that interesting and attractive stranger on the train. It stops us from dancing when fun music comes on. In some ways, it stops us from living. And, millions of Americans are in the process of destroying their livers trying to reclaim it. In these pictures of the free, wild, and untamed west, there are typically very few people, or buildings to indicate the presence of people. There is nobody to judge you, and nobody to make you feel self-conscious about what you chose to wear, say, and do. The fact that this is where we go to seek freedom indicates where we, as a people, believe most of our restrictions come from.

Therefore, if one could overcome this “invisible chain”, the restrictions placed upon us would be limited only to those officially legislated by some kind of governing body and effectively enforced by law enforcement personnel. The few lucky individuals that manage this are able to find this greater level of freedom in places like London, Hong Kong, or New York City; places that provide the interaction with other human being that we all crave.

We often see the desire for community and human interaction as pulling us in one direction, while the desire for freedom and individuality pulling us in the opposite direction. As an extrovert, I often struggle with the fear that asserting my individuality and refusing to conform, will cost me in the social realm. Reflecting upon all of this in the wide open spaces of the desert southwest, I re-realized that being an individual and reducing that fear actually helps in the social realm. Negative responses from those that fear non-conformity are more than outweighed by positive responses by those that appreciate authenticity and variety in nearly all circumstances. The key is to understand that we all have freedom of choice, and not to allow any of the hate to translate into hatred towards others. This applies even the people that have ridiculed me and caused me hurt. They have the freedom say what they want. The only way to truly overcome that ridicule is not to ridicule them back, or “defeat” them in an argument. It is to not be affected by that ridicule and continue to be the way you are despite anything they say.

This is one of several lessons, I re-learned on this trip. These re-realizations make this place significant to me, even if the official reason for the significance of any of these places is questionable. Everyone has a different experience here, and it is completely understandable for someone to come to Four Corners, find out it is on a reservation, buy nothing at the souvenir stands, and leave seeing the place as pointless. For me, however, this is where I got my mind off some of life’s frustrations, and got back on the path to becoming a better person.

Two Ways Up Lookout Mountain

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The first time I heard about Lookout Mountain, the first thing I thought of was teenagers making out in their cars half an hour after sunset. It just seemed like the kind of place a crazy new high school couple, with access to a vehicle along with the freedom that comes with it for the first time in their lives, would go. It is that perfect middle ground for high schoolers starved for both attention and alone time. They are far enough out of the “public eye” (i.e. social circle) to not feel too awkward, but not far enough out of the “public eye” to not get the recognition they crave.

To some, the fact that I automatically defaulted to this thought process is a demonstration of a disturbing level of immaturity. But, I am strangely comforted by the fact that my mind occasionally defaults to such ideas and pursuits. One of my goals as I get older is to never lose that youthful sense of wonder that makes everything seem so significant and magical early on in life. Sure, if I were still trying to take high school girls “up to Lookout” at this age, it would be quite pathetic! However, I take significant pride in the ability to still see places like this and imagine it’s possibilities from a perspective that is quite youthful, while still approaching it with the wisdom and maturity that I have gained over the years by being an astute observer of the world, humans, and human nature.

So, although my first thought of this mountain was one of 16 year olds making out in cars and possibly allowing themselves to go further, I came to understand it’s cultural significance to Colorado and the Rocky Mountains when it became the first major mountain I climbed on my bicycle after moving here from Illinois. In a way, Lookout Mountain welcomes people like me to the world of cycling in the Rockies the same way I imagine it welcoming those 16 year olds to “adulthood”.

As the stormy weather that plagued Colorado the week leading up to Memorial Day came to a close, I decided to pursue this mountain in another unique manner. I decided that on Monday, I would hike up the Mountain, using the Chimney Gulch and Lookout Mountain trails. Then, on Tuesday, I would ride my bike up Lookout Mountain Road.

Regardless of whether one decides to pursue this mountain on foot or by bicycle, it begins at a (relatively) light to moderate level of difficulty. The trail heads up a gentile slope that would be considered “moderate” in terms of hiking. The bike ride is up a slope that most with little or no climbing experience would consider quite difficult, but it is a bit over a mile into the ride before the climb picks up.

While the bike ride does offer some amazing views, and I would argue better views of the Denver skyline, about a mile into the hike, some waterfalls form at this time of year, when rains are significant, giving me a whole new perspective of Lookout Mountain.

It is at this point cyclists will encounter their first major set of switchbacks (along with some steeper terrain). The hiking part also picks up in intensity.

Just after the halfway point comes a somewhat easier part of the climb. It is at this point the road somewhat flattens out for cyclists, and most can shift up a gear or two and pick up a few miles per hour in speed.

Roughly 2/3 of the way up the mountain, the hiking trail meets up with Lookout Mountain road for the second and final time, at a place called Windy Saddle Park (near Windy Saddle Peak).

Windy Saddle Park offers a great view of the Clear Creek Valley to the West. The photo to the left was actually taken back in April on a previous bicycle trip up Lookout Mountain, while the one on the right was taken on Memorial Day. Colorado is typically a very dry state, with a very brown or red look (depending where you are). However, the week preceding Memorial Day was quite wet, with daily thunderstorms, and even four consecutive days of hail. These photos, taken from the same place, demonstrate how different Colorado can look during different seasons and weather patterns.

After Windy Saddle Park comes the most challenging part of the trip, regardless of whether one is hiking or cycling. Cyclists will encounter a series of switchbacks with a higher grade and frequency than the switchbacks in the earlier part of the climb. When I continued on the hiking trail, I had anticipated the same increase in intensity. What surprised me was the sudden change in tree density. It felt as if we had suddenly left the wide open and entered a forest.

There are two trail junctions in this more challenging (although still not “14er” level) part of the trail. First, the Beaver Brook Trail, which is a longer trail that winds through the rest of Jefferson County, breaks off to the right. Luckily, these trail junctions are clearly marked so nobody spends hours wandering around wondering when they will finally get to the top. The second junction is with the Buffalo Bill Trail, which goes to the part of the mountain where Buffalo Bill’s grave is.

Lookout Mountain is not a single peak. It is more of a mound. One one end of the mound is the tower most commonly associated with Lookout Mountain. On this other end is Buffalo Bill’s Grave. Buffalo Bill’s Grave is a great destination point for cyclists. There is a gift shop at the top offers water for free, nice bathrooms, and great snacks. Being pretty much at the same elevation as the other side of Lookout Mountain, one can stop and turn around without feeling like they cheated themselves out of part of the climb.

While (excluding driving) there are two ways up the mountain, there are three ways down. One other thing I discovered about Lookout Mountain is that it is a popular place for hang-gliding/ para-sailing.

Depending on the day of the week and conditions, it is not too terribly uncommon to encounter around a dozen gliders taking off and landing at different points on the east side of the mountain.

Between the awkward adolescents in their cars just past sundown, cyclists like me achieving our first significant Rocky Mountain climbs, and hang-gliders soaring through the air over town, Lookout Mountain is truly a place where dreams come true. It is a place where people feel a sense of achievement, a sense of advancement, and a sense of welcome into what’s ahead. For cyclists like me, it is even more challenging bike rides, higher into the mountains. For those adolescents, it is adulthood, and all of the challenges that will come. Either way, it is both magnificent and scary, but best appreciated by looking upon it with the same sense of wonder that we begin our lives with.

An Overlook of the City

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Starting sometime between the ages of 3 and 7, we are all asked the same question; What do you want to be when you grow up? Sometime between the day we are first asked this question and the first time we purchase an alcoholic beverage legally, we all answer this question. Some of us, inspired by an event, a hero, or something we are really interested in, figure this out at a young age. Meanwhile, others answer this question later on, after a year or two in college with an “undeclared” major.

Whether we answer this question at the age of 5 or 20, we all determine “what we want to be” believing that we have some kind of final answer to this question. One of the biggest surprises that we all encounter in the adult world is that “What do you want to be when you grow up?” is a question that we never stop answering. Sure, some of us may spend up to a few years at a time in a sort of steady-state, remaining in one place. But, eventually, inevitably, some form of change, or opportunity for a change, will come our way, requiring us to revisit the question.

I actually learned this fact years ago, when I was actually given two different options for where to take my career by a former boss. So, the fact that I am currently approaching a crossroads that may take me down a different career path, to a different location, or both, does not come as a complete shocker to me. While not surprised, there is still plenty to think about, and sometimes the best thinking is done in another setting.

A common scene in the movies (and on TV) is for one of the main characters to absorb recent events and ponder what they are to do next while overlooking their city’s skyline. This is a scene I reenacted somewhat accidentally today when I discovered the best view of the Denver skyline I have seen to date from a place called Mount Galbraith.

Mount Galbraith is located just to the west of the town of Golden, Colorado. With a peak at only 7,260 feet, hiking to the top is not challenging. The vertical climb from the parking lot probably does not even reach 1,000 feet. For someone looking to hike in Colorado with no prior hiking experience, this may be a good choice. Unlike other trails near Golden, there is no mountain biking permitted on these trails, and the trails are significantly less crowded than any of the trails near Boulder.

I do not know why I came to this park today. I had a lot on my mind today, and needed to get away from the distractions that often disrupt my thought process; in particular YouTube, the internet, and the Olympics. So, I pretty much just got in the car and started to drive with no plan whatsoever. Before I knew it, I was approaching Golden, and I had remembered seeing a sign for some kind of hiking trail on the way to Golden Gate Canyon State Park. Knowing that in the month of February it is always safer to stay at lower elevations (this is due to both wind and snow pack), I decided at the last minute to stop.

I also made my Siberian Husky come along for the ride, but she seemed to enjoy it. This is probably the closest I will ever come to getting a picture of my dog overlooking a city skyline, something that I think makes for a neat picture. In fact, I think Dogs Overlooking Skylines would make for an awesome calender. 12 different cities, 12 different dog breeds. If someone made it, I would buy one for sure!

Today I followed my instinct, and I did what countless movie and TV characters have done; find a good view of the city skyline and ponder what is going on in my life. I’m guessing most people feel that when they come to a place like this they are taking a step back from life, and looking at what is going on from above. It almost feels as if we are taking a big-picture omnipresent view of day-to-day life when we observe from a place like this. While on a typical day, we are looking at one particular block, one building, or even one desk. Coming to a place like this, the entire city, as well as many places around it, all come into view. It is natural for this view to prompt anyone to look at the big picture.

And, it is time to apply this big picture view to that age old question. What do you want to be when you grow up? Or, for those of us that are already grown up, we can more simply say, what do you want to be? Whenever anyone asks or answers this question, it seems like the discussion always revolves 100% around jobs and careers. But, there is more to who someone is than their career. Maybe you want to be the person your friends can depend on? Maybe you want to travel and have some interesting experiences? Or maybe you just want to have a balanced life? When it comes to “what you want to be”, ambitions like these are a valid part of the discussion and should not be ignored.

The Action Story

Learning about the world and about ourselves through travel and experiences

Category Archives: psychology

Taking it to Another Level

Disconnect and Reconnect

Visiting the Past and the Future- Part 2

A Weekend to Recharge

Saint John; Virgin Islands

Saying Goodbye to a Travel Partner

Places of Questionable Significance

Two Ways Up Lookout Mountain

An Overlook of the City